Monday, 17 December 2018
Sunday, 16 December 2018
through the looking glass
Since 2008 when coming into mental health matters from the "lived experience" perspective or as a Psychiatric Survivor I've often felt like this:
More so in recent years as if being in a sort of Truman Show peopled by actors and performing wildlife; I've got used to it, fortunately, the isolation becoming independence and freedom to speak out as I see fit, regardless of what others think.
Nothing is confidential or private these days. Technology has moved at such a fast pace that all of us have the gadgets to be secret agents or spies, recording devices, cameras, google glass etc. To have our space invaded and lives on view. Big Brother. CCTV everywhere, giving the illusion of protection but in reality it only works for those in power or who own the cameras.
But I'm not worried or anxious, usually sleep like a log! Exhausted from travelling around to buy food or swim, keep fit, getting out of Springfield and Fife when possible, engaging with folk on the way. I do enjoy life, grateful to be mobile and on the ball mentally despite years of being bullied, excluded, marginalised and manipulated by people on big money, in positions of power.
I feel very privileged in my parentage and being born and raised in Perth, Scotland, in an era when families lived in the same house or nearby, supportive and protective, although I know this wasn't the case for everyone, and was aware of inequalities even as a child in the council house schemes of Letham 1950's and when living in Pomarium flats 1960's.
My Dad Willie Patterson was a writer, I thought he was a journalist, told my friends this. He travelled back and forward to London by sleeper train, staying there, at one point we were going to move to the capital, before my sisters were born but that didn't transpire. We also looked at a showhouse up Cherrybank but instead moved to Pomarium, a flat came up, not long after they were built. Easy access to train station and shops.
I didn't read my Dad's stories until recently and now find these book cover illustrations comforting as if my Father is still watching over me. Which of course He is.
More so in recent years as if being in a sort of Truman Show peopled by actors and performing wildlife; I've got used to it, fortunately, the isolation becoming independence and freedom to speak out as I see fit, regardless of what others think.
Nothing is confidential or private these days. Technology has moved at such a fast pace that all of us have the gadgets to be secret agents or spies, recording devices, cameras, google glass etc. To have our space invaded and lives on view. Big Brother. CCTV everywhere, giving the illusion of protection but in reality it only works for those in power or who own the cameras.
But I'm not worried or anxious, usually sleep like a log! Exhausted from travelling around to buy food or swim, keep fit, getting out of Springfield and Fife when possible, engaging with folk on the way. I do enjoy life, grateful to be mobile and on the ball mentally despite years of being bullied, excluded, marginalised and manipulated by people on big money, in positions of power.
I feel very privileged in my parentage and being born and raised in Perth, Scotland, in an era when families lived in the same house or nearby, supportive and protective, although I know this wasn't the case for everyone, and was aware of inequalities even as a child in the council house schemes of Letham 1950's and when living in Pomarium flats 1960's.
My Dad Willie Patterson was a writer, I thought he was a journalist, told my friends this. He travelled back and forward to London by sleeper train, staying there, at one point we were going to move to the capital, before my sisters were born but that didn't transpire. We also looked at a showhouse up Cherrybank but instead moved to Pomarium, a flat came up, not long after they were built. Easy access to train station and shops.
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| Jeff Hawke 1986 Titan Books |
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| Jeff Hawke: Overlord on Amazon |
I didn't read my Dad's stories until recently and now find these book cover illustrations comforting as if my Father is still watching over me. Which of course He is.
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| called this my "faith cubbyhole" in October 2015, still there |
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| Monkey on bedside table Dec14; had him since a baby 1952 |
Saturday, 15 December 2018
my wonderful Mother: Anne Ferrier Patterson/Dewar 🤗😍😇
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| my Mum & me 1953 Kingswell Terrace, Letham, Perth, Scotland |
my wonderful Mother Anne Ferrier Patterson/Dewar 🤗😍😇 pic.twitter.com/MCl8NCoQKn— Chrys Muirhead (@ChrysMuirhead) December 15, 2018
my Mother was abused by the Psychiatric system, for life https://t.co/Qgiu1KMybV— Chrys Muirhead (@ChrysMuirhead) December 15, 2018
on a toxic psychiatric drug until her death at age 68; from lung cancer; she smoked to counteract the effects of the drug; she monitored her smoking, to 20/day; Depixol antipsychotic was a hellish drug for her to live with; ruled her life but she put up with it; my hero https://t.co/MVYVy4Vgsr— Chrys Muirhead (@ChrysMuirhead) December 15, 2018
on a Depixol 3wkly coercive drug depot injection for decades for no good reason just an abusive, coercive system; Psychiatry has a lot to answer for https://t.co/7ycYI86Vbn— Chrys Muirhead (@ChrysMuirhead) December 15, 2018
I think it's amazing that my Mother survived abusive Psychiatry for so long; she didn't retaliate, was a gentlewoman; a great example to me & my boys https://t.co/Qeq4vCFMxY— Chrys Muirhead (@ChrysMuirhead) December 15, 2018
Friday, 14 December 2018
a divided self
Tweeted this last night:
about staying here in Springfield but having something of a life in the city of Dundee. It will involve travelling by bus most of the time, which I've got used to, carrying stuff, easier when spring comes with warmer days and lighter nights.
I can always use a case on wheels if need be, when the load gets heavy, because I would like to do wild water swimming, gym weights, sports, and this will require carrying more equipment. I've got a large pink holdall with wheels which I may start using. Can put it in the boot of buses or luggage rack in trains. Fortunately I'm able to lift heavy weights, have got muscles!
Photos from 1973 on the Muirheads farm near Douglas, Lanarkshire. Had strong shoulders even back then 😊
my home is here but my fitness, study, exercise will be elsewhere; a divided self 😄 https://t.co/cz0AUdSX6I— Chrys Muirhead (@ChrysMuirhead) December 13, 2018
about staying here in Springfield but having something of a life in the city of Dundee. It will involve travelling by bus most of the time, which I've got used to, carrying stuff, easier when spring comes with warmer days and lighter nights.
I can always use a case on wheels if need be, when the load gets heavy, because I would like to do wild water swimming, gym weights, sports, and this will require carrying more equipment. I've got a large pink holdall with wheels which I may start using. Can put it in the boot of buses or luggage rack in trains. Fortunately I'm able to lift heavy weights, have got muscles!
Photos from 1973 on the Muirheads farm near Douglas, Lanarkshire. Had strong shoulders even back then 😊
Thursday, 13 December 2018
moving to Dundee: scrapped the idea
Update 13Dec18
Scrapped the plan to move to Dundee. It's impossible, I don't have enough support. Will have to keep taking buses to swim in the city, to walk, to shop, to study, to write, and will try to keep fit for as long as possible, considering ways to earn money so as to travel further afield, to have a life.
I've got a new bus pass/National Entitlement Card so that should give me a respite from bullying bus drivers or conductors who give aggro if their machine doesn't work.
I've lived in a terraced council house for nearly 21 years, gardens back and front, which I very much enjoy, growing plants, watching wildlife, and would find it hard to give up voluntarily.
I don't want to live in Springfield but I have no choice in the matter. So I will just have to put up with it.
I hate putting up with stuff. Just saying ...
Scrapped the plan to move to Dundee. It's impossible, I don't have enough support. Will have to keep taking buses to swim in the city, to walk, to shop, to study, to write, and will try to keep fit for as long as possible, considering ways to earn money so as to travel further afield, to have a life.
I've got a new bus pass/National Entitlement Card so that should give me a respite from bullying bus drivers or conductors who give aggro if their machine doesn't work.
I've lived in a terraced council house for nearly 21 years, gardens back and front, which I very much enjoy, growing plants, watching wildlife, and would find it hard to give up voluntarily.
I don't want to live in Springfield but I have no choice in the matter. So I will just have to put up with it.
I hate putting up with stuff. Just saying ...
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| today, scrapping the idea |
Email sent to my MSP 13Dec18
Dear Mr Rennie
I
am writing to ask you for a comprehensive list of your surgery dates in
North East Fife in the near future. I would like to meet with you to
talk about council housing issues.
Regards, Chrys
Chrys Muirhead
writer, storyteller, swimmer, cyclist, photographer, gardener, traveller, whistleblower, human rights campaigner, mental health activist
on being a £4.4million pound fundraiser for NHS Fife:
Wednesday, 12 December 2018
Curing the Therapeutic State: Thomas Szasz interviewed by Jacob Sullum July2000
Curing the Therapeutic State: Thomas Szasz interviewed by Jacob Sullum July2000
Excerpts:
"The collaboration between government and psychiatry results in what Szasz calls the "therapeutic state," a system in which disapproved thoughts, emotions, and actions are repressed ("cured") through pseudomedical interventions. Thus illegal drug use, smoking, overeating, gambling, shoplifting, sexual promiscuity, pederasty, rambunctiousness, shyness, anxiety, unhappiness, racial bigotry, unconventional religious beliefs, and suicide are all considered diseases or symptoms of diseases—things that happen to people against their will. Szasz believes this sort of thinking undermines individual responsibility and invites coercive paternalism...."
"Reason: How would you describe your approach to therapy?
Szasz: I see psychoanalysis as a contractual conversation about a person's problems and how to resolve them. I tried to avoid the idea, which seemed to be particularly pernicious, that the therapist knows more about the patient than the patient himself. That seems to me so offensive. How can you know more about a person after seeing him a few hours, a few days, or even a few months, than he knows about himself? He has known himself a lot longer!
To me the whole idea of calling it "therapy" is crippling. So there was a kind of understanding between the other person and me that we were having a conversation about what he could do with his life. That obviously involves adopting different tenets of sorts—different ways of relating to his wife, his children, his job. The premise was that the only person who could change the person was the person himself. My role was as a catalyst. You are making suggestions and exploring alternatives—helping the person change himself. The idea that the person remains entirely in charge of himself is a fundamental premise. .."
Excerpts:
"The collaboration between government and psychiatry results in what Szasz calls the "therapeutic state," a system in which disapproved thoughts, emotions, and actions are repressed ("cured") through pseudomedical interventions. Thus illegal drug use, smoking, overeating, gambling, shoplifting, sexual promiscuity, pederasty, rambunctiousness, shyness, anxiety, unhappiness, racial bigotry, unconventional religious beliefs, and suicide are all considered diseases or symptoms of diseases—things that happen to people against their will. Szasz believes this sort of thinking undermines individual responsibility and invites coercive paternalism...."
"Reason: How would you describe your approach to therapy?
Szasz: I see psychoanalysis as a contractual conversation about a person's problems and how to resolve them. I tried to avoid the idea, which seemed to be particularly pernicious, that the therapist knows more about the patient than the patient himself. That seems to me so offensive. How can you know more about a person after seeing him a few hours, a few days, or even a few months, than he knows about himself? He has known himself a lot longer!
To me the whole idea of calling it "therapy" is crippling. So there was a kind of understanding between the other person and me that we were having a conversation about what he could do with his life. That obviously involves adopting different tenets of sorts—different ways of relating to his wife, his children, his job. The premise was that the only person who could change the person was the person himself. My role was as a catalyst. You are making suggestions and exploring alternatives—helping the person change himself. The idea that the person remains entirely in charge of himself is a fundamental premise. .."
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| Poppy & Phil Barker with Tom Szasz [from Tidal Model website] |
Tuesday, 11 December 2018
positive feedback in tweets about #Stagecoach bus drivers
Some tweets just now with positive feedback about Stagecoach bus drivers:
some positive feedback about @StagecoachEScot Bus Driver recently who told me that I wasn't old, was just coming into my "prime" & looked me up & down with appreciation!— Chrys Muirhead (@ChrysMuirhead) December 11, 2018
Well done to that younger man for making me feel good 😀
he's not the only one; in particular, won't name him, but there is a Stagecoach Bus Driver who has always been complimentary & supportive since he was on 64 bus route, has a wife & daughters; a very nice man who is a good example of the profession #SirBrianSouter @stagecoachgroup https://t.co/RrOmSRCNe8— Chrys Muirhead (@ChrysMuirhead) December 11, 2018
the female bus drivers @StagecoachEScot I've found to be customer focused, get the job done, not easy in what is a male dominated profession; well done to the Ladies at Stagecoach! hope many more come on board 😀 https://t.co/D9ef6KodvR— Chrys Muirhead (@ChrysMuirhead) December 11, 2018
— Chrys Muirhead (@ChrysMuirhead) August 28, 2018
Sunday, 9 December 2018
Wednesday, 5 December 2018
my Email feedback re Digital Health & Social Care Conference 28Nov18 Glasgow
I kept receiving reminder Emails asking for feedback on the Digital Health & Social Care Conference I briefly attended on 28 November 2018 in the Technology & Innovation Centre, Strathclyde University, Glasgow. So I sent this response earlier, copied in to my MSP, MP and CabSec for Health at Scottish Parliament:
"Dear Kathleen
I
left the conference during the panel session when Angiolina Foster
started speaking. I could not thole any more as an unwaged Carer,
activist, human rights campaigner and whistleblower about the locked
seclusion room abuses at Stratheden Hospital. I thought the event was
more about selling products, apps, jargon, and scaremongering about
elderly people, who in my experience have a lot to offer society but are
stymied by negative stereotypes and seen as burdens rather than
assets. Hal Wolf in particular was peddling his wares just like IHI
Boston, Mass, have done via Brian Robson, Jason Leitch et al. Scotland
deserves much better, in my opinion.
For
nearly 7 years I have singlehandedly supported my son Daniel after
Nurses locked him in the Stratheden IPCU seclusion room without toilet,
light or water, for hours on end. He had to defecate on the floor
because no Nurses heard him shouting that he needed the toilet, this was
on the 4th night they locked him in, 8 February 2012. Because I raised
complaints we were abandoned by community MH services and Fife Council
Social Work together with Fife Police and NHS Fife tried to frame me for
Nurse abuse. I didn't even know they were investigating me until
asking via an FOI request for their Adult Protection Investigation
Report in around the August 2012. I got a paper copy handed over in
Cupar social work office and upon reading found out that my raised
concerns had resulted in me being under the spotlight, not the NHS staff
who for decades have been using this cell to "manage" Stratheden Ward
4/IPCU patients. It was human rights abuse perpetrated on vulnerable
people in need of care and support. I never even knew they had a locked
seclusion room despite engaging with that hospital since 1995.
I'm
not doing the evaluation form, not a good use of my time. I had hoped
for this event to be innovative but I saw no evidence of this in the
Keynote presentations. I could not identify with Anna Fowlie's take on
internet engagement. I did Algol computer programming 1969/70 at Perth
Academy, also 6th year studies Maths. In the mid 1980's at Rigside,
Lanarkshire, where I did grassroots voluntary community development
work, all that decade, along with other Mothers like me, we got an
introduction to computers in the Rigside community hall (now the school
is based there). I'd learnt touch typing in the 1970's then in 1994/5 I
did an HNC Office Admin at Elmwood, best student, taking extra units,
then going into 3rd year BA Admin Management at Fife College 1995/6,
again best student, where we learnt about the global village, Charles
Handy, database management, corporate planning, many other interesting
topics, I was 44. This is the best academic course I've ever done, the
topics suited me very well, doing the degree in 2yrs instead of 3.
In
2008 aged 55 I dived into Scotland's mental health world to promote
peer support, recovery, because I had survived 3 episodes of psychosis
and coercive psychiatric treatment, making a full recovery, tapering,
coming off the drugs myself. I thought my Lived Experience would be of
use to the likes of Scottish Recovery Network, Penumbra, SAMH and
others. But within a few months I met with resistance and was put in my
place by people with far less life experience, qualifications, knowhow
or intellectual ability. Soon they excluded me from events, resorted to
bullying and intimidation. And that became the pattern over the years
because I wouldn't fall into line behind stupid people. I have to be
honest. I would never have survived, recovered from psychiatric abuse
if I was a follower rather than a leader. I don't believe in mental
illness and think it's a psychiatric construct to justify failures in
the system to heal patients.
I've
recounted something of my story (I'm now 66yrs young) in this Email to
demonstrate my breadth and depth of life experience,
digital/computer/online abilities. I update my website using HTML,
having learnt it by cut and pasting, after my son set up Chrys Muirhead
Associates in January 2008, to my design. I don't update it much at
present, do more blogging although even that is sparse as I'm
concentrating on keeping fit, swimming most days in Dundee which
involves two buses there and back from where I live in Springfield. We
have no car now, hope soon to move to Dundee, where it will be easier to
have a life on a low income. There is no money to be made in
whistleblowing about human rights abuses in NHS settings in Scotland.
No justice for the psychiatrically abused. We are on our own, fighting
the system.
Regards, Chrys"
copying in my MSP, MP and CabSec Health
Chrys Muirhead
writer, storyteller, swimmer, cyclist, photographer, gardener, traveller
writer, storyteller, swimmer, cyclist, photographer, gardener, traveller
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