Thursday, 29 November 2018

no more Safe Houses for Psychosis; removing references

I'm in the process of removing references to Safe Houses for Psychosis as I don't have any support for it since being abandoned by the Clinical Psychology academics.  I can take a hint! 

Ten years of being sidelined, bullied, excluded, badmouthed, impoverished, for not believing in mental illness, for surviving coercive psychiatric drug treatment and whistleblowing about human rights abuses in the locked seclusion room of Stratheden Hospital.  

It's been a very challenging time, being isolated for speaking out and saying what I think.  At one point I felt very alone but I've come to terms with it.  Even those who were my "friends" weren't really there for me.  I remember thinking, with friends like that who needs enemies!

I'm glad to still think I'm worth it after being treated as "less than" by so many folk.  Just as well that I don't have any mental health issues 😊.

new specs 29Nov18 costing £88

Ye Jacobites by Name @ChrysMuirhead

Inspired by The Corries, having heard them in concerts 1970's in Perth and Aberdeen.

Tuesday, 27 November 2018

3D model of St Mary's Cathedral (Episcopal) in Edinburgh #DanielMuirhead #Sketchfab

An example of my Son Daniel's 3D modelling on Sketchfab:

3D model of St Mary's Cathedral (Episcopal) in Edinburgh

screenshot from Sketchfab by me!


Dundee 2018-10-17 McManus Gallery on Daniel's Flickr

screenshot from Flickr by me!
my son Daniel 😍

Monday, 26 November 2018

written apology from Graham Wark @LACDundee 26Nov18 about my Olympia complaint


Sunday, 25 November 2018

Applying for a Council House in Dundee

couch potato watching Jools on iplayer 😄
A series of tweets 25Nov18 about applying for a council house/flat in Dundee, moving to the city, earning a living, writing books, keeping fit, cycling more, shopping around, caring: 

"I could more easily get a paid job if living in Dundee. Also have more time to write & self publish books. I spend a lot of time travelling to swim, to keep fit. I'm also very fed up taking buses to get out of Fife. Not a good use of my time. I could cycle more often in city."

"I need to be more financially self sufficient. This would be easier in city. Shopping around for food. Not having to take buses & put up with grumpy drivers. Carrying bags of shopping & avoiding sudden braking, wet bus floors. Risky business. No work for me in mental health."

"I spent 10yrs promoting MH Recovery, peer support, helping many people in their campaigns, promoting their work. It cost me time, money, energy. Many of them far better off financially than I. No paid work in MH Lecturing despite my qualifications & 40yrs survivor experience."

"Water under the bridge. Survival of the fittest. Just because I care doesn't/shouldn't mean I'm a pushover."

"A new year beckons. 
New beginnings. 
I won't be changing my ways just because others have taken advantage. Their loss not mine. 
Looking forward to changes & a new home in the city. I've lived in a flat before & can do it again. There are allotments where I can garden."

"I don't have any animals now so that's not a consideration."

"I shall ask for help in completing application form, make an appointment with housing in Dundee."

Sunday, 18 November 2018

space invasion

A few thoughts about the topic of space invasion in relation to psychosis or altered mind states.

31 July 2015 I experienced a physical and mental breakdown which resulted in a bladder prolapse and at one point I thought I was having a stroke, brain clenching, eyesight affected, couldn't drive, difficult to watch TV, feelings of being watched.  Secret agents.  

I got through it by getting fit, swimming and weights, eventually getting into cycling properly for the first time, on and off road, taking my bike on trains to various cities, on ferries at the west coast, growing in confidence.

Queen Anne Gardens Stirling Castle 23Jul18
As I cycled more I swam less and this summer was into visiting historic buildings via membership of Historic Environment Scotland and the National Trust.  However by the end of July I had a sore back, muscle strain down left leg into hamstring, and got back to swimming in the Olympia, taking out monthly direct debit membership, which I hadn't done before.

The swimming has improved my fitness, eased the muscle strain and I've been losing weight around the middle, eating less and more active, on the go, walking.  Aiming for wildwater swimming and a novice Triathlon in the future, if possible, logistically.  I don't have a car so it's not viable at present.

Then on my oldest son's birthday 26 October a number of things happened and I changed my Red or Dead glasses which I'd bought at Specsavers Glenrothes, Fife, 21Apr15, to the spare Gok Wan pair, and have been adjusting to the change since then, tomorrow collecting a new pair of specs from Govan Optometrists, Dundee, with reactive lenses, the Winter Fuel payment of £200 will help to pay for them.

Interestingly the vertigo I had for years has now gone and I can now climb the spiral stairs in the Olympia to the flumes no bother, tried them out for the first time 3 November and then a week later, giving feedback about what I observed and my experience of the red flume on both days.  Ironically this has resulted in my exclusion from the Olympia and having to raise complaints about Leisure staff.  Swings and roundabouts.

I am even more convinced that Psychosis is a natural reaction to space invasion of one sort or another.   And that mental illness is a psychiatric construct to justify coercive drug treatment.  Surviving psychosis/psychiatric abuse was hard, much easier avoiding psychiatric interference, less damage done.  Turn of the screw. 

Excluded from swimming in Olympia Dundee pool again

Friday, 16 November 2018

in memory of Luke Hutton

Wednesday, 14 November 2018

Thursday, 8 November 2018

Face the Music in Dundee is doing well!

Well done number one Son!

Wednesday, 7 November 2018

handknit socks on show

With the colder, changeable weather I've started wearing layers of clothes, not trousers which if wet due to rain can be chilly and uncomfortable.  So I wear a sort of uniform: above the knee skirt (covered by long length thick jacket/coat), shorts and tights underneath, with my Berghaus walking boots, sports and handknitted socks which are coming into their own!

I'd already bought a few skirts in 2017 after getting the boots, however I fell in Princes St when running wearing the boots, accompanying my son on buses to ERI for his lung op, cracked my ribs, eventually going to A&E to get it checked out, because it got worse before it got better!  Didn't know this, hadn't cracked ribs before.  Cracked and broke many other bones over the years since childhood, being an active child and person.  Liking a risk.

Here are the socks I've knitted, now wearing in boots:

First pair of socks knitted, Tiffany diamond pattern, 16Apr16
Alpine sock, 29Jan17
Jacobs 4ply pure wool 14Mar17
Austermann Step 4ply German wool zigzag pattern socks, 9Jun17
2nd pair of Austermann Step socks, 8Aug17

Here are some recent tweets of layered outfits before setting out for the 94 bus from Springfield rail station to Leuchars rail station for the 99 to Dundee and swimming lengths in the training pool at the Olympia, Dundee:

I'm still altering kilt skirts to fit and plan to make some others with dress materials I bought from Remnant Kings, Argyle St, Glasgow in 2015/6.

Monday, 5 November 2018

nomadic lifestyle, in transition

Since the end of July when I had back strain after visiting historic sites and went back to swimming weekdays at the Olympia Dundee I've adopted a sort of nomadic lifestyle, travelling there and back, gradually shopping in Dundee for food and clothes.  My two older sons live there, my oldest Grandson, Granddaughter (other Grandson in Lousiana who I've yet to meet, he's now 7).

I've had some very negative experiences on buses, especially since the 64 route to Springfield past Stratheden psychiatric Hospital has been taken over by a new company which has no tracking App or active Twitter account.  So you don't know if or when the bus will appear, if it will be early or late.  The buses are not well made and neither drivers nor passengers are comfortable in transit, rattling along over ruts and speed bumps.

In 2012 I asked our then MSP Rod Campbell SNP to help us get a council house in Dundee but he said he couldn't.  So I tried to get an exchange, also put our names on the housing list there but we were way down the list, not enough points to ever be offered a house similar to what we now have, terraced, gardens front and back etc.  

I also considered private rented accommodation but that's not secure and much more expensive than council housing.  We've been in this house since Easter Monday 1998, shortly after my Mother died in the Adamson Hospital, Cupar, and I felt this was a God-given house, good neighbours, handy for parking, we always had a car until end of 2015.  But the psychiatric abuse of the locked seclusion room and the deterioration of nursing practices scunnered me of living here, continually reminded of what they did to me and my sons, their £4.4m new IPCU a reward from Scottish Government.

In 2002 I had remarried my husband (he said Yes) after getting caught up again in Psychiatric treatment following a menopausal psychosis/spiritual experience, going voluntarily into Lomond Ward Stratheden to be forcibly drugged with toxic chemicals.  He stood with me at Psychiatrist appointments, the father of my 3 sons.  Well done to him.  We separated in 2011, he still supports me financially which I appreciate or we'd be even worse off.  It's not easy when mental health treatment is still in the Dark Ages.  Blaming Mothers for Mental Illness, the Church of/Biological Psychiatry.  Call it what you will but it's way off track, down a dead end street.

The neglect by Fife Council social services of my neighbour of 19yrs whose husband died, she was lonely, isolated, demented, was very scunnering, and to see her in a "home" without her rescue dog, in 2017, the smell of urine in the building, locked in, other "residents" sleeping in chairs, was terrible to witness.  She had worked hard all her life, a forces veteran, paid her taxes, her husband latterly a lollipop man for years in the village.  Yet antisocial behaviour by tenants is rewarded with more support.  There's something far wrong with this equation.  

I'd previously seen another elderly neighbour also be isolated in her home, very little social services support going in.  And that's just near where I live, no doubt replicated elsewhere in Fife.  What are elected members of Parliament doing about this?  I don't know.  I've spectated at health and social care meetings, it wasn't positive.  Action is required, not just talking about it.  

Getting back to swimming, it's helping me get fit, toned up, improving my digestion without having to change diet, just eating less due to being on the move more.  I lift weights by way of shopping bags and rucksack, swinging over my shoulder, side about, saves having to go to the gym.  I've also been walking miles in Dundee city although pavements can be rough on the feet!  Need to toughen up.  On Saturday I tried out the red flume in Leisure Pool at Olympia.  Survived it and the wild waves, will go again, would like to jump off diving boards also, eventually do the faster flumes. 

It's about the long game, life.