I was subject to their manipulation, a lesson in resistance, a battle of sorts. I think the ClinPsy discipline attracts people who are into "hands on" interventions and have egos like bottomless pits. Got to be honest. The successful academics and practioners who I've met didn't get there by intellectual abilities alone, or even, rather, I have gathered, by being able to hide behind a mask of incongruence, mindfulness (switching off) and/or superiority.
The challenge is to get behind the mask or to agitate enough so that they resort to even more manipulation, with gritted teeth and clenched fists, the men that is. The academic women I've met who are "under" the men appear to be ineffectual, dittery, lacking in insight, disorganised and not the sharpest tools in the box. Why is this? In my opinion, because the men chose them for just these reasons! I said this to Schwannauer, November 2016, after he mucked me about in his office, Doorway 6 of the old Medical Quad, at a PhD preparation meeting. Raised expectations at our meeting in September then dashed them 2 months later. I was very angry with this game play and got him telt.
As for his double act partner Gumley (Staying Well After Psychosis) his mask dropped when we engaged virtually 2015-17 after years of a poker-player face at CUSP user/carer meetings since 2011, before that 2009 at a service user research meeting in the red brick building at Gartnavel led by Ross White. I came to the conclusion that Gumley was gay as he said nothing about his personal life, wore tight fitting shirts with a flowery pattern, fancy jeans, lycra when cycling, had a "partner" and no children. In my defence I've met many gay men in mental health matters since 2008. I just thought that the Professor wasn't "out".
Then after Gumley dunted me when coming into the 25Jun15 Schizophrenia Support in Mind Scotland event and was waiting outside after, we had "words" and I gave him a telling off, he offered me a lift down in his taxi, marched off to the end of the street muttering about the driver not coming to the door, left his phone in taxi and looked as if he had something wrong with him. I felt sorry for him and befriended him soon after, by Email, like a penpal. I did this with Prof Ian Reid from 2012-14, engaging with him right up to and shortly before his death in the June.
I shared these Emails with my Psychiatrist friend on occasion, to keep myself right, and he was a witness to many of the virtual exchanges with Prof Gumley as I journeyed through another psychosis after a near death experience and complete breakdown on 31 July 2015 when I thought my number was up. This is when I took up knitting, swimming and fitness again, also doing some dressmaking, having bought a Singer sewing machine from Castle Furniture in Cupar. However we had to give up the car end of 2015 and dressy outfits aren't suitable on public transport, it's more lycra Tshirts and jeans made of denim or cord, for comfort not fashion.
|3Nov15 after delivery of sewing machine|
That's how it was for me when engaging with psychiatry in 1978, 1984 and 2002. It was similar with the ClinPsy Professor and his cohort academics from 2015 until the end of 2017 when I retreated from the Edinburgh DClinPsy programme. Gumley went in the huff after 4July17 CUSP meeting. I dunted him back (for 25Jun15) on 25 October 2017 at the NRS MH Network Annual Scientific Meeting in the Queen Elizabeth Teaching & Learning Centre, Glasgow. Tit for tat. He was in my road as I went to the Ladies so I bumped into him on purpose as he did with me. I didn't go out of my way to pay him back. It wasn't a priority. I'm a busy person.
That's not an end of it for me, in terms of Clinical Psychology in Scotland. It's not good enough for people in psychosis and mental distress. I will continue to campaign and agitate for improved training of psychologists and challenge the dominance of male academics and their manipulation of trainees, Mothers and others, the switching off and superiority of practioners in Fife and elsewhere. In my opinion they are not fit for purpose and are in need of a complete overhaul.