Tuesday, 3 July 2018

blinkered; eyes wide open

In my experience of over 50yrs (from after the birth of my wee sister in 1966, our Mother experiencing a psychosis and resisting going into hospital) the main issue has been the treatment (coercive drugging, shocking) not the diagnosis.  Therefore I think that the work of Clinical Psychologist Dr Lucy Johnstone is blinkered, encouraging division. Although I like Lucy as a person I find her teaching (preaching) difficult to thole, have to take my knitting out or leave the room.

I've engaged with Clinical Psychologists in Fife since 2004 and DClinPsy academics since 2009, it hasn't been positive.  In my experience they are in the business of keeping people in the system (with Mindfulness, CBT, IPT) rather than helping them/us take charge of our own mental health, speak out about system issues, and to taper the neurotoxins.  In my family the abuse and neglect happened in psychiatric wards, perpetrated by Nurses, under the authority of Doctors, more recently justified under Mental Health Law and in Notes.

I had a good upbringing, wasn't neglected or abused, an independently-minded child, free to roam about the streets of Perth with friends and return to the safety and security of my home.  My Mother was a homemaker, loving and caring, and her spells in Murray Royal psychiatric hospital did not disrupt my childhood, that I can remember, as my grandparents and other family were supportive.  

Mum, Dad, me & sister Frances c1963
[Photo taken with instamatic camera, my Dad Willie Patterson's new "toy", on an automatic timer, he ran around the back of us to get in the picture, hence my middle sister in highchair looking round at him.]

1986 Titan Books republication
My sisters who are much younger, 9 and 14yrs junior, may have a different opinion of their childhoods.  When I was 17 in 1970 our family was fractured by the death of my Granny, my Father sequestered since 1969 in London, his contract with the Daily Express, writing Jeff Hawke, was terminated, my Mother again in a locked psychiatric ward.

My family don't hear voices when experiencing psychosis, as far as I'm aware, although we are extra-sensitive to the environment, acutely aware of nature, sounds, smells, spiritual realms, with heightened imagination and increased insight.  I experienced another psychosis in 2015, after a complete breakdown, avoiding psychiatry and coercive drug treatment this time around, so can remember the altered mind states and heightened awareness of others, of insects, birds, sky, earth and possible secret agents going about their business! 😊  It wasn't scary, I reasoned it out that they were on my side, protectors.

It was far safer, I found, out in the real world coming through a psychosis than voluntarily going into a risky, mixed gender psychiatric ward with careless Nurses and exploitative patients, and vice versa.  I'd been through that already, 3 times, in the earlier episodes having my space invaded by forced injections, breasts bound to stop baby milk, avoiding ECT by escaping Hartwoodhill with my husband, resisting chatup lines by male patients when wearing 3 layers of pyjamas in dining room.   2002 voluntary inpatient stay Lomond Ward, taking the pills under duress, less risky than resistance and being injected, wearing clothes in female dormitory beds overlooked by male patients in single rooms, chatted up again at dining tables, this time fully dressed.

Express front page 5Oct14
I was given a Schizoaffective Disorder diagnosis in 2002 but wasn't aware of it until later, I might even have ignored it if psychiatrist Dr Carey had tried to discuss it.  I do remember him mentioning Bipolar but I resisted it so he probably pinned the other one on, in my Notes, without saying, to cover the Venlafaxine overdose and bone density loss, 6in metal plate right fibula.  In my experience the Notes only had any relevance when a mental patient (or if a family member was, as in 2012 when my Dx was used to justify Nurse abuse perpetrated on my youngest son; they got away with it).  In the real world outside psychiatric institutions when recovered and having left "services" behind they are irrelevant and not worth mentioning unless useful for getting a job.

The real crux of the matter is to do with psychiatry having too much power to abuse patients without being held to account for their actions.  Systematic abuse at will, using neurotoxin drug cocktails without any justification or evidence of efficacy.  Failing to keep patients safe and even trying to lay the blame for causing psychological harm on unwaged Carer Mothers who are then left to pick up the pieces singlehandedly, having been abandoned by local MH services for daring to raise complaints and to expose psychiatric abuse.  

Whistleblowing mental patients and their carers are the least protected and most at risk when speaking out the truth of what they've witnessed and been through at the hands of paid healthcare workers.  Not for the faint-hearted.

photo on Granddaughter's birthday gift card today! (me & number 3 son 😍)

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