Monday, 30 July 2018

out and about in Summer sun 2018 on bike, to castles, by bus, train

Facebook photo albums:

Royal Highland Show Ingliston Edinburgh 21Jun18
bus, train, tram to RHS Ingliston, for 3pm entry, special price £10, recapturing memories of visits when my sons were boys; particularly enjoyed seeing Bluefaced Leicester sheep

Perth with bike by train 23Jun18 #DiverseCiTay 
Year of Young People events in Perth; I cycled round South & North Inches, coming upon celebrations, listening to House & Garage Orchestra; nearly cycled to Bridge of Earn but turned back when met with a flight of stairs!

Hill of Tarvit Mansionhouse 26Jun18
with my son

Dunfermline Cathedral & Abbey 29Jun18
joined Historic Environment Scotland & National Trust for Scotland to visit such places as this; helpful guide, awesome buildings, first went into Cathedral, saw Robert the Bruce tomb

Meigle Museum Pictish Stones 12Jul18
a selection of photos; a most interesting visit

to Markinch via Thornton train/cycle 4Jul18
cycled to Cupar, train to Thornton, cycled to Glenrothes then by path to Markinch; refreshments at Drummonds
to Methil Docks 6Jul18
by way of fun event

to Arbroath Abbey 7Jul18
with youngest son by buses; must go back

to Aberdour Castle 10Jul18
via Dunfermline; originally aiming for Culross Abbey; dropped by Andrew Carnegie Birthplace, again

Glasgow Tenement House 2Jul18
National Trust for Scotland residence of Miss Toward born 1886; then a wee visit to Mitchell Library

A selection of photos:

Meigle Museum Pictish stones

Dunfermline Cathedral
with youngest son in Ceres
Mitchell Library, Glasgow
Arbroath Abbey with son Daniel posing

Sunday, 29 July 2018

Go to your room!

my Dad, a selfie
When I was about age 10 or 11 I started to question my Dad and defy his judgements if I thought they didn't make sense.  For example, I wanted a pet rat but he said I couldn't have one because they were smelly.  I said: well so are you! Go to your room! 

[most of the photos taken by my Dad, not sure about the one of me aged 3 or 4, who took that one, and the one of my wee sister Eva taken c1969 at photographer's in Perth]

I spent some time in my room at that age, looking out the 4th floor Pomarium Perth flats window at the wasteground outside (before the Bus Station was built), watching my friends playing and climbing trees.  It was a fitting punishment because I liked to be outside playing better than anything else at that age.  However it didn't stop me on occasion speaking out to my Father if I thought his decisions didn't sound right.

My sister Frances who was 9yrs younger would eventually be asking my Mother where her room was because it was only a 2 bedroom flat and we'd be sharing a room by then.  My Mum told this story later on as she did other stories of our childhood which I'm very grateful for, her sense of humour and love for her family.  Another story was of when we used to stay in Dunsinane Drive, Letham, Perth, 1950's, a council housing scheme, and the Dobie brothers bullied me when playing out in the street, and I'd go running in the house, greetin (crying).

me aged 3 or 4 in kilt
I'd be about 4 years old so don't remember this.  My Mother said that my Dad taught me to box so as to defend myself from the bully boys and after this they ran in greetin tae their Maw.  And then she complained to my Mum about me bullying them.  She was very proud of my ability to stand up to the bully boys and to girls who would challenge me to fight in the Caley (Caledonian) Road Primary School girls playground.  This happened a few times and I had a seconder, a friend who stood with me, but the challenger never turned up to fight.

I was thinking of the 'Go to your room' scenario in relation to what's happened regarding the DClinPsy programmes at both Glasgow and Edinburgh Universities.  In effect I've been sent to my room, banished, silenced, for speaking my mind and defying the patriarchy.  With Glasgow it was because I left the CUSP user/carer group end of December 2014 after being bullied, ganged up on by members when Gumley wasn't there, and complained about it.  
me aged 10

me with favourite comic at the time
Gumley spoke about this on 4 July 2017 in his office at the MH & Wellbeing Unit, how it was very difficult after I left CUSP.  I had said to him that he shouldn't infantilise the members or trainees.  This is a problem, assuming that DClinPsy students and people with "lived experience" of MH challenges, don't have full capacity.  Since then he has stopped speaking to me and Prof McLeod has banished me from any involvement in their DClinPsy programme.  Sent to my room permanently for having an opinion and not putting up with infantilisation.

As for Edinburgh DClinPsy, I'd left the user/carer group APEX early 2015 and had complained about it on twitter, the facilitation by the men at the top, the misogyny.  Inbetween times I tried to do a PhD Clinical Psychology at Edinburgh but that fell through, my unconditional offer withdrawn after I rejected the supervision by Prof Schwannauer which was both unsupportive and undermining.  I was set up to fail.  Formal mentor Gumley did not help the situation and it was after this that he raised a complaint which resulted in my banishment. 
me eating an orange before playing outside

I returned to Edinburgh DClinPsy APEX after this but it wasn't a positive experience.  Again I was being silenced at meetings, there was a resistance to my independent, survivor Mother voice, and a preference for dominant males having their say, as before.  (they seem to prefer victims)  So I retired to my room before being sent there.  Clinical Psychology academics and practitioners prefer to work with people who have reduced capacity and don't challenge the status quo.  In my experience they are not able to work on a level playing field with people who have survived psychiatric treatment and are independent thinkers.

I was very fortunate to have a good Father who wasn't heavy handed, I didn't stay in my room for long, had many opportunities for play before puberty set in and I grew into a woman, in my own time.  Memories of my childhood are happy ones, adventures and games with friends who were boys and girls.  I remember it as being free to explore and to develop a curious mind, open to learning and self-expression, returning to the safety and security of a loving home.

my lovely Mother Anne Patterson [1929-1998]
me with Mum Anne and Dad William Patterson 1953 at Kingswell Terrace, Perth
from Jeff Hawke facebook page

link to Amazon page Overlord

wee sister Eva c1969 when she was 3
My mum took my sister Eva to a photographer for this photo since there weren't any photos of her as a baby as by this time my Dad was stuck in London after his Jeff Hawke contract was terminated by Daily Express.  Eva's wearing a dress made by our Mother, in either blue or pink, she had two of them in that style, as I remember.  My Mum was a skilled seamstress.

Friday, 27 July 2018

some tweets about psychosis, mentoring, tapering neuroleptics 27Jul18

Tuesday, 24 July 2018

tweets in response to @EMPOWER_EWS Implementation Theory Poster

Link to Implementation Theory Poster 2018 - Empower study

My tweets 24 July 2018 in response to viewing this poster:

I don't expect an answer to my questions, the Chief Investigator isn't speaking to me and the others don't engage either.  However it's useful to record my comments and questions since this project receives over £800k just for the Glasgow University research.  The Australian contingent likely receive an equivalent amount from different sources.


my survivor Mother tweets #PsychDrugDebate 24July18

Sunday, 22 July 2018

retaining balance

Yesterday I was out on my bike again, cycled to Cupar then got train to Markinch for Glenrothes and back again.  Had enjoyed it recently, the path by the Haig Estates buildings on one side and countryside with wild life on the other.

Markinch to Glenrothes path 21Jul18
I also cycled on roads here and there, sometimes a wobble when setting off but managing to retain balance better than I used to.  In the first 6 months of cycling I tended to fall if overbalancing rather than righting myself.  So I'm pleased to be in better control of the bike on different surfaces.  I also can go quite fast downhill, enjoying the thrill of speed!  

Last Wednesday I was part of a panel session with 5mins presentation in the Queen Elizabeth Teaching & Learning Centre, Glasgow, at the Active Minds Workshop, and showed slides on Safe Houses for Psychosis while speaking on a variety of other topics, including psychiatric abuse, marginalisation by Clinical Psychology Professors and the failure of my PhD at Edinburgh University.   I'd included some hyperlinks so that workshop participants could view these afterwards, if interested.

During the panel session and question time I had to get up from my seat to retrieve my diet coke from rucksack as I was thirsty, and retracing my steps tripped over the foot of my fellow panel member from University College London.  I may have misjudged but it seemed that his foot had moved and I did ask him if he'd tripped me up, by accident.  He brushed this off.  I also asked the cameraman who was filming if he captured the incident.  Didn't get an answer.  So I took a couple of selfies:

Then the UCL academic said to me I could be a Shepherd's Pie, this was in response to my talk with a vet lecturer in audience, where I mentioned having been a shepherdess, lambed sheep. I didn't take kindly to being described as a Shepherd's Pie or mince, and said so to him.  I was glad to have retained my balance when tripping, in the past I would likely have fallen flat on my face.  

Some more photos from yesterday's cycle trip:

parking up bike at Morrisons Glenrothes
in Glenrothes, Auchmuty, map out!

in Morrisons cafe

at Markinch rail station for train to Springfield

watching cabbage whites

in our back garden brassica patch

Friday, 20 July 2018

taking photographs

was thinking of language used when taking photos:
  • shoot
  • capture
  • expose
  • crop/cut
  • edit
  • focus
  • photobombing
  • flash
  • selfie
  • zoom 
  • snap
  • burst
how I took up photography more seriously after my son was abused in Stratheden Hospital IPCU locked seclusion room February 2012 and I was getting brushed off by NHS Fife Managers when meeting with them to complain.

I particularly remember a meeting at Stratheden with the General Manager where I felt disempowered and marginalised while he just sat there, doing nothing to help me get justice for human rights abuses against my son, because he didn't have to.  And so I decided to start capturing the hospital grounds environment outside, since I couldn't do anything about the inside, and put photos in a new blog, taking back the power:
Stratheden Hospital blog first post Saturday 28 July 2012: photos taken 16 July 2012

Having a camera on mobile device has helped me to be empowered and to take back the power.  I've got used to taking lots of selfies and tweeting them, in effect saying I woz here!  I also do wee videos on the move, recording my thoughts in action.  It's liberating, I find, to have the technology on hand to shoot and capture what's in front of me, or behind.  Good practice should I ever have to advocate for family members again in a psychiatric ward and witness patients at risk of exploitation.

Six years ago my son was mentally, physically and sexually abused by psychiatric Nurses and they got away with it.  I won't be letting it happen again to any of my family.  If Nurses dare to bully, intimidate and surround me in numbers then I shall capture their image and broadcast it to the world, there and then.   And if they lay a hand on me then I shall report them to the Police, for assault.

Being a practised mobile phone snapper gives me the power to expose bullies should the occasion arise when my space is invaded.  I do many shots on the move, walking, even jogging, from place to place, on buses and trains, in streets and buildings.  It's a skill that I'm glad to have gained and is useful when tweeting and writing blog posts.   

A selection of photos from last week's travels:

from Aberdour Castle
Pictish stone Meigle Museum

Broughty Ferry with bike
Dundee's new rail station entrance

Thursday, 19 July 2018

#ActiveMinds Glasgow: Safe Houses for Psychosis presentation 18July2018

Yesterday I did a 5min presentation at the Active Minds workshop in the Queen Elizabeth Teaching & Learning Centre, Glasgow, as part of the Panel talks.  

Here are the slides on my website with hyperlinks:

and slide images:


Website hyperlinks

Slide 1:

my main blog Chrys Muirhead Writes

my twitter account @ChrysMuirhead

my son Daniel Muirhead's Flickr account 

Slide 2:

'HOSPITAL HORRORS: Patient locked in cell with no toilet, food or water' front page piece in Scottish Sunday Express, 5 October 201, about my son's sub-human treatment in the locked seclusion room of Stratheden Hospital, Fife

Jeff Hawke: Overlord; 2008 republication by Titan Books of my Dad Willie Patterson's scripted sci-fi comic strip stories originally written for the Daily Express, Fleet St, London 1956-69

Slide 3:

my knitting page on blog 

my cycling page on blog

Slide 5:

my Safe Houses for Psychosis blog

a selection of my son Ed (Edwin) Muirhead's websites:

Face the Music therapy
Dundee Piano teaching, learning
Ed Muirhead songwriter, piano player, drummer, singer

my SoundCloud recordings singing with guitar eg