Wednesday, 10 October 2018

overcoming psychiatric abuse & psychological manipulation

Up early, having retired last night before 10pm, as I'm out the door these weekdays at about 7.25am for the bus to Leuchars then Dundee for swim in Olympia.  Listening to Later Jools which was on last night, catching up on iPlayer.  I'd rather just chill out but wanted to write something about the scapegoating and marginalisation I've experienced because of speaking out about Psychiatric Abuse and Psychological Manipulation.  

link to presentation
I've always been aware of the misuse and abuse of power within psychiatric settings personally since 1978 when I went voluntarily into a mental hospital, Hartwoodhill Lanarkshire, and was forcibly injected with toxic drugs because I resisted.  However it's only in recent years that I've become aware of the issues with Clinical Psychology in practise and academia, through engaging with them since 2004 in Fife and 2009 with Glasgow DClinPsy then 2011 with their Edinburgh chums.  I was continually marginalised and sidelined, it started with the Fife CP and was perpetuated by his cronies in academia.  I believe he is still influential although retired.

Going in for the PhD Clinical Psychology at Edinburgh under Prof Schwannauer took a lot of energy and cost me.  It was toxic.  But it was a useful experience to find out what it was like engaging closeup with these highly paid academics.  I also saw the teaching materials at Edinburgh DClinPsy which I thought were narrow, focused on attachment theory, targeting families, no doubt the influence of Prof Gumley, from his own childhood, blaming Mothers for mental illness.  He shared some of his story with me when we engaged virtually 2015/16 as I was coming through another psychosis.  

link to presentation
I had more insight not less although it was risky for me sharing personal information with his university Email.  I was aware that we weren't really "friends" although I'd befriended the Professor after thinking he had something wrong with him, 25 June 2015, when he was waiting outside 50 George Square, Edinburgh, after a Schizophrenia event, no-one else around.  He behaved oddly, left his phone in the taxi, looked like a lost boy.  I spoke to my doctor friend about it at the time and later.  

2017 was a difficult year engaging with, and exposing, DClinPsy academics, also because of my son experiencing another collapsed lung, operation at ERI and painful recuperation, plus our old neighbour lost her husband and became demented, going into a Home, and we got a new antisocial neighbour, dogs barking, malicious letter from solicitor and police visits.  Glad to say that things have settled down in the neighbourhood, having raised complaints about Housing staff to a Stage 2.  My son and I have both recovered healthwise.  My thyroid cyst was benign and viral throat receded, cracked ribs healed. 

I don't appreciate being manipulated by a boy/man and his cronies then being banished by McLeod for no good reason, bullied at the Edinburgh DClinPsy meetings by misogynists because academics fostered it.  I am still angry about it and have every right to be angry.  I've got 40 years of lived experience surviving psychosis/psychiatry, resisting toxic drugging and making a full recovery from mental illness.  My life and voice are of value in Scotland's mental health world and I should be invited, and paid, to teach and facilitate learning on DClinPsy, Mental Health Nursing and Psychiatry programmes.  I also hold Scottish Government civil servants responsible for failing to support my meaningful involvement in these educational settings.  

I've demonstrated in my own life that it's possible to make a full recovery from a mental disorder (Schizoaffective), tapering a neurotoxin cocktail myself, and have supported my 3 sons in and out of psychiatric settings when experiencing psychosis, helping them to live productively, being an example to them of resisting and overcoming.  I deserve respect for these attributes, skills, abilities, and for surviving psychiatric abuse, three times in 3 different decades.  I will continue to demand respect and to speak out as I see fit.  This is a statement of intent.

1976 with oldest son Edwin in Perth photo booth

left to right, Edwin, Daniel, Angus
Edwin holding Daniel 1985
Edwin wearing BMX jumper I knitted him, of his own bike
Angus wearing BMX jumper I knitted him, of his own bike
Daniel wearing basketweave jacket I knitted him & his sookie shawl

1999 at my sister Frances's wedding, I was Maid of Honour
me with son Daniel in Cupar Crossgate
with Grandson in 2014, Dundee
with Granddaughter 2016, Dundee
in Dundee 27Sep18

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