Yesterday I had to give up the PhD quest due to lack of funding. I had to face up to the fact that I couldn't afford to self-fund a doctorate so as to research Safe Haven Crisis House alternatives to psychiatric inpatient treatment. It was a sad day, hopes dashed, although I tried to stay positive.
This has come about because of the negative experience of supervision at the University of Edinburgh Clinical Psychology department. I felt undermined by their lack of faith in my abilities and in funding being secured. It caused me physical health issues and I couldn't let it continue. After the supervision relationship broke down and no other supervisors could be found I heard that there was a bullying culture in the department.
I still intend to research Safe Haven Crisis House alternatives in the UK and abroad. I don't know how this can be achieved as it seems impossible without the backing of an organisation. Therefore I'm feeling disempowered, isolated, bruised and battered. It's painful. But I will survive.