Sunday, 16 August 2015

the schizoid personality of biological psychiatry; motorcycle emptiness & dancing in the street

I have reason to believe that in Scotland biological psychiatry is more dominant and discriminating than in other developed countries.  No doubt it's historical and to do with roots.  But whatever the cause I am very fed up with having to be on the receiving end of a failed paradigm and I say this after nearly 50yrs of picking up the pieces.  Strong words but I'm unapologetic.  For if the drugs don't work then the drugs don't work.

Mad in America link

Many of my family members have been given psychiatric labels/diagnoses that remain in the "notes" regardless of recovery.  A concept that in recent years has been touted by government so as to hound the mentally ill off their welfare benefits.  Meanwhile I did recover 3 times after psychoses and psychiatric forced drug treatment yet the schizoaffective disorder label remains in my "notes", rearing its head at inopportune moments.  Stigmatising and discriminatory, in my opinion.

I never claimed DLA (disabled living allowance) in 2002 when on a cocktail of Risperidone then Venlafaxine then Lithium, because I was determined to recover despite the labels and the treatment.  It was a matter of principle.  I was not going to let the b***ers grind me down.  So I tapered the drugs, got off them all and got back on with my life.  I was able to do this because of family support otherwise I may have chosen to remain in the system as a protection.

However I have a 6 inch metal plate and scar on my right fibula as a reminder of Venlafaxine and its side effect of bone loss.  And a psychiatrist in 2004 told me that my high blood pressure was as a result of Lithium which led to my having to take pills for it.  This same psychiatrist (a locum) told me I'd have to stay on this "mood stabiliser" for life because of my psychiatric label and mentioned the DSM chart.  I told him that I didn't believe it then tapered the 800mgs a day, by 200mgs a month, determined to prove him wrong.  And so I did.

I saw this same psychiatrist many years later, in Weston Day Hospital, Cupar, around 2012 (although I may have the year wrong), in his full motor bike leathers, coming down the stairs as I waited in the foyer (possibly to meet with another psychiatrist, to discuss my Advance Statement, not sure).  I took the chance of telling him about my recovery and how his prognosis was wrong.  But he said it wasn't him who had made the diagnosis.  He had a point I suppose.  It wasn't him.


Motorcycle Emptiness.  And here are the Manic Street Preachers playing the song live at Belladrum Tartan Heart Festival on BBC Alba, with a harder rock edge, approx 1:40 in (available until 12 September).


I am glad that, despite the metal plate in my leg, I can still dance.

Martha Reeves was performing at the Tartan Heart Festival, a superb set from a living legend, taking me back to the 1960's and the Motown hits! Nowhere to Run; Jimmy Mack; Dancing in the Street.  From near the beginning to about 17mins, including an interview with Miss Martha Reeves ( (available until 13 September)

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